The Frictionary # 562

Here is another page taken from The Frictionary:

5136. Christmas, that annual celebration of parental guilt and juvenile greed. (P.D. James)

5137. I found my Christmas spirit,
T'was in the box
With the artificial tree. (Réjean Lévesque)

5138. Caroling: karaoke slavery. (Jim Gaffigan)

5139. Two tips for Christmas: 1) Forget the past, you can't change it. 2) Forget the present, I didn't get you one. (Swedish Canary)

5140. Polar bears are becoming extinct because they drink too much Coke. (?)

5141. North pole dances - $10. (Mike Baldwin - "Cornered")

5142. The worst gift is fruit cake.  There is only one fruit cake in the world, and people keep sending it to each other. (Johnny Carson)

5143. Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money. (?)

5144. Every year, I ask Santa for a fat bank account and a slim body.  Maybe this year, he won't mix them up. (newfylover1)

5145. 12 Days of Christmas (...). The true love also provided a fully staffed aviary for the 184 birds that are amassed in just under two weeks. (Kevin Matthews)

That's all for this edition of The Frictionary. Your comments and suggestions are welcome, but commercial links will be rejected. Subscribe and receive this free weekly blog in your in-box.
Have a great week! Best Wishes for the Holidays!